obsessional thoughts of no consequence.

I have become very stressed.

The days take a toll

on my mind that has no matter,

but my body –

never mind.

I have a split of

two parts.

 

Two parts that oppose the other.

Two parts that wish not to get along.

Not at all will they be in harmony.

They stay separate.

 

The mind is also an oppositional playground.

Of three parts that divvy up to the neocortex, limbic, and reptilian.

One is concerned with higher thought,

One with emotions and the irrational,

and one is of the base functions.

They contradict each other in what they want.

They dissuade the other to give up.

On the things that would possibly make this troubled one

happy. But what is happy?

 

Happy is some idealistic state.

An emotion with an expiry date on it.

It never lasts, only comes fleetingly,

lovingly, painfully at a cost that is

paved with loss.

Pyrrhic in a way is happiness.

Pyrrhic is the emotion that I wish for.

I cannot have this.

Never will I embrace it to keep

for a jaunt, a skip, a short moment.

I wish only that sometimes that I could feel

Joy, but that isn’t possible.

My suffering is the happiness of others.

Who regularly delight in another’s

malchance, fall, stumble, and

misery.

 

I have become very stressed,

indeed. I haven’t the foggiest

to how to escape this cyclic

repitition of this opposite realm

of happiness. I drag it with me

like a tire tied to my thick waist.

It entraps me, weighs me down.

Yet I still move. Somehow I do.

But you will never know what I

face, for my mind is always sealed

from your unknowing eye, that

will remain as always, so blissfully

unaware.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s