i still am comatose. i float above the skies. i hiss in pain frequently. when provoked i bite. once sad i remain misreble till the end of that era. when i meet someone i like i hold tight and remember. so i do have a special someone who’s so far away from here. to the other coast… i dont like explaining things . i’m happy to attack mostly anyone. some exceptions may apply. but in all i be as harmless as a teddy bear. i have one. it was a gift for my birth. a brown bear. it wears a doctor’s outfit. i suppose they wanted me to become a doctor. but i just bit and drooled on one ear as a child. how comforting. i didnt have a childhood. if what you consider normal. i was made to attend sparks, brownies, and girl guides. then chinese school every saturday. so what i didnt have the tea sets or princess outfits, instead i played pirates. i turned the entire playroom into a pirate ship. and i sailed the seven seas. marroned some idiots and found treasure. spoke with the seagulls. and had them for diner. but hey it was a pain to clean-up. but why bother. i reminicence then force myself to forget. it is done finished never to steer back to . once i ran away from home but i was still inside. i thought i was unwanted since my other two siblings were given more care and attention than me. even till now i am not allowed to speak often, due to that my voice is bad. and it would shorten their already fragile lives. like i mind. so i spent many years as a silent child. how sad and pityful. yes pity me if you must. but i will turn a ignorant head. and run. run far far away. till i never see you again. that is my mannerism. to be.or not.